To think at the beginning of last year it was you and I
you and I standing alone against the world
Now that it is a new year,
you are but a scar.
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Your Little DollControl my every move
my rise and my fall
everything at your command
like I was your little doll.
I have no choice
what else was I to do?
you say that you love me
so I'll believe that it's true.
Who knows what real love is?
maybe this is wrong
can't even control my own breath anymore
can only sing your song.
You tell me I must follow
what would happen if I don't?
"that's not an option" you say
with your hand around my throat.
I must get out of this god forsaken place
how did this go so far?
we were in love, we had it all
now there's shackles around my heart.
I'll run as fast as I can
finally out of your arms
bruised mind, scarred heart
Smell...and be stimulated!
jasmine in the air
a rose at her peak
the dew of the morn
freshly cut hay
the scent of her perfume
the aftershave you bought him
the morning after
a newborn's skin
a zoo at sunset
the everglades at noon
the jungle at dawn
a sea breeze from the east
his sweat on Calgary
the stench of death
the freshness of his garments
the fragrant new morning
"The aroma of life is for us to enjoy,
the fragrance of living surrounds us.
With a wealth of fine odors for Him to employ,
He assures us He's loving and just."
Time Is The Cure
Time Is The Cure
Right hand of destruction
Left hand of creation
It's a never ending cycle
A fatal revival caught in a downward spiral
I tear down realitys mask
As I build up a truth to give hope a chance
The veiled darkness decays
The guiding light fades
I let go of an old pain
As new tears wash it away
The sun always rises
The moon always sets
The rain subsides
The storm is put to rest
Clouds confide / Memories detest
Skies collide / Cries confessed
Light shines / Dark regrets
Pain hides / Peace professed
A new day awaits
An old night forgotten
Tomorrow I shall awake
To cradle what remains unbroken
I can't erase my mista
Freaks ShowFingers scratching at my wrist,
Wanting a beautiful kiss.
The lips they know too well,
Gradually I feel my mind compelling,
Back to almost a month ago,
When I was still apart of the freak show.
Dancing on the stage,
With a pointy blade,
Focused on a luscious vein.
The oh's and ah's of the crowd causes pain,
I finally notice how different I really am.
I finally notice there is nothing I can,
Do to pick up the glass without getting cut.
I finally noticed that all I am is a nut.
I finally noticed that deep down I'm in the freak show for life,
I can no longer hide and fight,
The true me when it's thriving to come out.
In this moment I do doubt,
A Father's FarewellShh honey, don't cry
It's gonna be okay
Daddy's going away for awhile
But he'll be back to stay
No my little angel
You can't come this time
But I won't be gone long
Just something I have to find
Take care of your mother darlin'
She just doesn't understand
But watch the window in December
I'll be home as soon as i can
Take this, My necklace
A piece of me you won't forget
Wear it to help you sleep at night
When life fills you with fret
Now go, my dear child
Tell your mother I have gone
I won't be back tomorrow
But I won't be gone for long
2012: Memories and ResolutionsAs 2012 came to an end, I was once again reminded of how short life is.
In the final days, I attended two funerals.
One was for a baby boy who I never had the chance to know
And although he was not my son -- I knew the pain, all too well.
No matter how tiny the foot prints they'll stay with you; even after five years.
was for a remarkable woman,
who gave me many years of great memories.
Both have left a hole in my heart.
2013 starts off feeling so empty and a need for something more.
What is my resolution for this year?
I'll try harder than ever to mend this broken relationship that I swore was done not so long ago.
Don't Ask For MeScraped skin on your knees I see,
Bearing compliments and a single flower with a droop in its neck,
Smothering the stem between your fingers, you clasp your hands
You beg and plead for a favor from me
You're mouthing these words into nearly full-blown paragraphs,
And you fill your mouth with saliva, almost drooling
As if they were waves crashing against an insubstantial barrier,
Your lips open and close with every utter,
And you describe the beauty of me,
And you soak your words with a depression that is almost touching,
And yet your eyes don't have the same feeling
You say that you want to be my knight,
And you say that your he
Entwine like Vines
Come with me on wayward dreams
Catch the wind on sailor’s leaves
Climb with me on favored tree
Conceive with me and plant the seed
It’s where it all started can’t you see?
Special place we both grew up as one
Feeding of the warming sun
Growing higher just for fun
You and me
Me and you
Entwined as two
Wrapping, warming; serpent hugs.
Taller, tougher; my Clementine.
Squirming, slippery; kiss like slugs
Constricting, cinching; bonding vines.
Entwine like vines
Entwine like vines
You and me
Me and you
Entwined as two.
A note for what used to be.My mind is in shambles
Please help set me free
I can't help but ramble
Knowing you're not with me
I hate that I hurt you
A scar left on my mind
Warm feelings gone cold
A frozen heart you will find
I should've made you my queen
But I waited way to long
I gave in to self esteem
Came back and you were gone
So I'll slip you this little note
Hoping and praying you will see
Because I know this for a fact
You are completely done with me
HATEYou try too hard to think
That it's not the case
That hate is just born like that
But what you deny
Is the truth
Hate can be born out of love
Even though you know it
Inside of you there is this
Little voice that whispers the truth
You try hard to ignore it
And not to see it
And to mask it
You hate more
But in the end you are
Just a person who
Lusts for love...
Don't hide it
And don't run away from yourself
Just face it and you will see more clearly...
innocenceYou may have it
But you you may lose it
It's such a simple thing to lose
But when it's lost
You look for it again
You try to have it once more
But what to do?
It's already gone
So you pretend
You fake yourself
You try hard
but instead of that you could
have just cherished yourself
before you get sullied
now it's too late
once it's gone
it will never come back…
A SongA bugle to the weary ear
Removes all dreams of kingdom come,
Recedes the soldier's fallen tear
And bellows his heart with the drum,
As clamors shield on pointed spear
And sings a euphony of home,
Each dying troop with closing breath
Attends a symphony of death.
A lover's welter and his woe
Seeks a violin's weeping strain,
For melody melts spite and snow
Which haunts the sinking, swooning swain,
And thus forgiven, flame and foe
Which brewed the draught of lover's bane,
Ascends the tune, a breath of June
A heart in summer 'neath the lune.
An oboe wakes a human note
In crystal seas where saints have drowned,
A grand piano
No Longer a Little GirlDear imagination, can't you be the thing you were
Butterflies and daffodils and happiness so pure
Sunny skies and lullabies and dreams of what could be
Hidden worlds and wonderlands of things they couldn't see
Shining gowns and silver crowns for dancing with the prince
Twirling with excitement, though the others weren't convinced
Dear intimidation, did you find it to be true
All I ever needed was an overdose of you
Silly stares and laughter slowly flood a child's mind
Making me abandon every daydream I could find
Lost beneath the shadows of the sky so dark and dead
Far too weak to turn around, yet scared of things ahead
Dear destructive ten
Aaron GreenHe has four patients in analysis,
who lie on the couch, and six patients
who come in for psychotherapy
and sit in a chair.
A vivid, impatient,
black modern sofas
reproductions of modern
art, an unswerving classical
I remember the agreeable warmth
of the low-ceilinged,
dimly lit room.
A cozy lair.
From these early, unimagi
ShatterLife is like a glass
Weakening over the years,
Being battered by storms
Until one day, it breaks.
Some are broken relatively quickly
Whether by accident
Mine has been cracked
and is slowly turning to dust...
Here I am.
This rope strangling my neck ever so gently
Like a lover's caress
Freedom for my weary spirit is only a step away
This is the last time.
The Timber HeartI walked along a winding path through wintry wood.
There were both evergreens and deciduous trees,
A heap of dilapidated skeletons with a lush thriving pine or spruce here and there
A dusting of snow coating the frosted pine needles
having sapped nutrition from the long-gone leaves of the withered trees.
The veins of the Earth, pumping life back into the soil.
I stopped, snow crunching beneath the weight of my footfalls,
and touched the rough bark of what was once a large oak cloaked in emerald.
I moved my hand along the flesh of the tree, closing my eyes, and
I could feel a faint pulsing reverberating through each and every molecule of the Oak's being.
Slowly, I felt as it faded away until it was none existent.
Whether it was the stinging, ravenous cold numbing my fingers as if they had been severed or-
Next to the tree there was a small mound of dirt that appeared out of place as if something
had been buried there in the frozen hard ground.
What could it be? A memento to the past? An
WhisperI am wide awake when you whisper behind me.
I hear your sharp tone as you hiss your destructive incantations.
Every hushed word resonating through my head with a weight attached,
dragging me down into the deep chasms.
There's that terrible ache again in my stomach;
I am wide awake when you cut me with your knives.
I guess I was so busy watching my back,
that I forgot pay attention to what was in front.
i am nothing. who are you?Clocks and designer clothes
Chasing endless rhythms of tick-tocks
Follow the line, straight and true
Like everyone else, do as they do
You'll be fine
Fish suffocating in evaporating ponds
Their choice to stay
Live with no regrets just-
Live and let go
Let go of it all, there's no point in clinging on
A pumping black hole shattered and cracked
i am nothing. who are you?
Dawn of a New Year
It is morning, a new dawn
Birds sing tunes of joy
The wind itself hums along in delight
Perhaps this year I will end this sorry life
Brain WaspsBrain Wasps
I am on the verge of tears. Why is this so hard? I think furiously, twirling the cylinder of Chapstick around in my fingers. I shut my eyes tight and try again.
I reach out to set the Chapstick on the nightstand beside my bed, but seconds after I release the tube I have to grab it again. Wrong, the brain wasps tell me, you have to get it just right.
I briefly consider hurling the thing across the room, but I know that I’ll just have to get out of bed to pick it up again. I am trapped in my own compulsions.
I know it’s stupid, and that’s part of what’s bothering me so much. Why can’t I just p
Cierra, 2005seven year-old prey
for juvie girls
eleven and thirteen
with sloppy hair
and sloppy clothes,
bragging about broken noses
bloody faces, and the places
they were forced to go
as though it even mattered to me
in the wake
of a seven year old crying
because iron plated hearts
don't know how / don't care to stop
forgotten little girl
i took her in at 12
when the nurses and the techs
could not break us apart
little girl with a broken heart, she
told me that her parents
didn't want her
why are you so nice to me
she asked when i talked down the angry giants,
and i said aloud, i said to her
Keep in Touch!
`ChewedKandi has certainly gone out of her way to keep the vector community on the right path. Always making sure that her talents are infinitely scalable, Sharon has put her bezier curves to excellent use, and firmly anchored herself as an inspirational leader. We're absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for June 2013 to `ChewedKandi. Congratulations, Sharon! Read More